Why is my head so fucking quiet? Why can’t I hear anything? Why can’t I see anything? Why is the only feedback my brain gives me some cryptic and infrequent collection of dreams that provide nothing but a broken sleep?

Do you know how fucking frustrating the world is when it’s full of people constantly harping on about their inner monologue; “what tone do you speak to yourself in?”, or picturing whatever the fuck; “visualise in your minds eye…”, what if I can’t? What if I’ve never had that ability, can’t you see how exclusive of an experience that is?

How do you introspect as someone with a mind full of radio silence? How do you function as a spiritual being when the only connection to spirit you have through the use of a psychedelic?

How am I supposed to wrangle the complexities of the human mind when I can barely open the fucking box?

I’m sure plenty of people would argue “Geez, must be nice to be able to switch it all off”, but that’s hard to appreciate when there was no on to begin with.

Even being able to label it doesn’t do much good. Aphantasia? Too bad nobody knows jack-shit about it, but at least I’m not alone.

People often fail to realise that the subjective human experience is so wildly different for every single individual and yet continue to project out their shit like everyone’s mind works the same way. Pull your head in; nobody is correct, nobody has it worked out, everyone’s just as clueless as the next person pretending like they have it figured out as to not let slip that its been an act the whole time. God forbid the people who genuinely believe they have it cracked, I sure wish I could live blissfully in ignorance too.

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