It took signing a contract with my partner in order for me to commit to a cold-turkey dopamine detox for a full month. 30 days of no caffeine, no refined sugary treats, no social media, no television and, the toughest one of all, saying farewell to my beloved friend Mary Jane for the month of November. For context, I’ve been a highly functioning, legally medicated stoner for at least 7 years now and needless to say, putting aside one of my favourite rituals (and sleep aids) for a whole month has been the most challenging part.

This excercise wasn’t due to any outstanding issues, both my partner and I are productive members of society with admirable studies and employment under our belt, and to most people in our circle, we are viewed as the “adults” who make good money and have a nice home of our own with no need of roommates to help cover rent. In fact, it was a very off-the-cuff challenge to ourselves. I think in the modern age, societies are extremely stimulated all the time, especially in a city, although thanks to the internet that’s not a strict neccessity anymore.

Stimulation and sources of dopamine come in many forms, too many, and it’s quite difficult to avoid when living a “regular” life. Endlessly scrollable social media feeds, algorithmic streaming recommendations, targeted advertising, hacking our genetic predispositions for maximum deliciousness, the modern society has been tuned towards consumption in all forms. We take in so much all the time that I think a lot of us have forgotten what it feels like to be at baseline, back to the primal experience of having nothing but your thoughts and a pair of hands to keep busy. This is why for the month of November, I am venturing forth into the forgotten, taking the long road back to a baseline with the goal of finding what truely brings me joy in life.

What I didn’t expect (even though literally all writings about doing this mention it) was the crash. After flying high and flooding my receptors with all my favourite sources of dopamine for over 7 years, cutting it all out cold turkey brought that train to a grinding halt. Days 1-4 were cruisey, but day 5 sent my mood into a nose-dive, that real depressive feeling. I’m a very pragmatic human and I know that the cause of the big sads is just the rebalancing of brain chemistry, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Everything feels 10x more frustrating and inconvenient. I’m ready for the up now brain, please and thank you!

I’ll continue posting about this journey as the weeks go by. Until then, I have built a small static site served off my homelab which displays a count-down to our finish date, as well as a new inspirational quote on each page load.

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